The Aftermath Part I

The hours and days following the birth were challenging.  A few hours after the C section, having held and nursed my baby and sent her off to dreamland, all I really wanted was to take a shower.  I hadn't, in fact, taken one in almost 48 hours, and I had really exerted myself for hours pushing.  Plus, everything had been so...bloody.  I felt disgusting.  They told me I couldn't shower until the next day.  I secretly plotted to at least sponge bathe myself in the bathroom when the nursing staff weren't around, whether they liked it or not.  I later realized I couldn't even get up.  My legs were still numb until sometime during the night.  I was still bleeding a lot too.

Everett and I allowed the nursing staff to take Corinne to the newborn nursery so we could get a little more sleep that first night.  They agreed to bring her in to our room for feedings.  This is a hospital that supports "rooming-in," so that the baby can have unrestricted access to the breast for feeding.  It didn't really seem like she spent much time in the nursery.  We were awakened repeatedly by Corinne crying.  I don't know how many times it was.  I just know I was exhausted and didn't get much sleep.  Everett stayed in the hospital room with me at night (and pretty much all the time) and got up with me every time the baby woke up, which I really appreciated.  I was glad that the nursing staff were changing diapers and otherwise helping to take care of her but bringing her in for me to feed her.  I later discovered that she had received some supplementary formula feeds in the nursery without my permission.  I didn't make an issue out of it.  I'm sure they thought they were helping by letting us sleep a little more. But I knew I needed her to nurse as much as possible to get my supply going, especially having had a C section.  I asked the nursing staff for a breast pump and parts and started pumping to try to stimulate supply another way.  We did end up giving her some  supplementary feedings ourselves because my milk was a little slow to come in, likely because I had had a C section (another thing I had feared about this particular medical intervention).  We did "finger feeding" with a syringe so she wouldn't get "nipple confusion" because I was very dedicated to succeeding at breastfeeding, which is a huge feat in itself.  Perhaps I'll write more about that later, as it has been such a big part of my journey as a new mother.

I was in a lot more pain than I had thought I would be.  It wasn't just my incision (though that was definitely the worst part).  My body was sore all over.  It was like I had suddenly done a CrossFit workout after months without exercise.  I realized it was from all the weird positions I had been in, the repetitive rocking, and especially the pushing.  I wished aloud that we hadn't had to go through all that and then have a C section anyway.  Not that wishing could change anything.

Little Corinne's sore head was managed with some baby Tylenol, per the pediatric team.  It did seem to help.  The pediatric team also diagnosed her with a medical condition the day after her birth. In the interest of protecting her privacy, I don't want to disclose what that was.  It wouldn't fall under the category of "minor," but it certainly was not life-threatening either. It was something that required treatment, a treatment that made our lives that much more interesting (as though new parents don't already have enough to deal with) on a daily basis for the first six weeks of her life.  It involved a lot of doctor's appointments and the like.  It resolved, though, with strict adherence to the treatment plan.

When she was diagnosed, Everett and I already felt so..raw...emotionally.  Hearing this diagnosis made us feel even more hurt and sad.  They reassured us that she did not feel any pain or discomfort from it.  It hurt us, though, to know she had a medical problem that would have to be treated, and it was hard not to think there was something we could have done to prevent it (there was not) or something we did to cause it (again, there was not).  It's just something that happens, not uncommonly in newborn babies, and it's not life-threatening or even "serious" by most definitions of the word, but it can cause some problems (which I would definitely call minor problems) later in life if it's not treated.  In fact, it used to go undiagnosed and its frequency has only been recognized in recent years, and it's probably a good thing that it gets diagnosed early and treated so it doesn't cause problems later in life.  However, a lot of people probably never even find out they have it, if it wasn't diagnosed in childhood.  The initial treatment, when it is diagnosed at birth, is very non-invasive and does not involve any medications or surgical procedures.  Sorry to be cryptic, but I just don't want to be posting all the details of her medical history all over the internet.  For anyone who wants to talk with me privately about it, I am open to telling you more.

I did feel protective of her and really didn't want anyone except immediate family to know about it.  I didn't want anyone to think there was anything "wrong" with our baby.  Another mom whose baby had the same problem saw some of the things I had posted on Facebook and sent me a message asking about it (it's really something only someone who has experienced it would have recognized or noticed).  We exchanged some messages about our experiences.  I was actually so relieved to know someone else was dealing with the same problem.  It made me realize how common it really is.  It also helped to be able to talk about it, especially to someone who knew what it was and what it was like to deal with it...and who knew it wasn't our "fault." 

In the end, we were actually lucky.  Lucky that it was diagnosed early, and lucky that it improved so quickly with the early conservative measures.  It could have gone undiagnosed, in which case it might have required more aggressive management in the future.  Or it could have improved slowly (as it does for many babies) and required much longer treatment.  She will continue to see a specialist just a couple times during her infancy and early toddler years to make sure things remain good, but it looks as though it's over and done with now.

We dealt with a few other medical problems in the first 2 months of her life, the details of which I will spare you.  I would definitely label those as "minor," though minor doesn't mean they don't have a big impact on day-to-day life.  It was no picnic.  She had 2 ER visits before she was 6 weeks old.  Sitting in the ER waiting room for hours with a several-week-old baby (and having to breastfeed there) is not my favorite thing in the world.  It's really not the best place to bring a newborn, given the potential for exposure to infectious illnesses.  The good thing is that all the issues were addressed.  Just not without a lot of time, energy, and heartache on our part.  I don't really think Corinne was too bothered by any of it.  It was mostly hard on mom and dad!

Anyway, I fared ok myself.  They told me my hematocrit (blood count) was 27 (quite low) the day following the C section.  At my last doctor's appointment before the delivery, my hematocrit had been 39 (very good).  I had never been anemic, even though most people experience some anemia during pregnancy.  They put me on an iron supplement (ugh, like I need more nausea and constipation right now).  I refused the Percocet they prescribed (pretty typical post-C section) after the first 24 hours because it just made me feel drowsy and gave me a headache, and it didn't seem to help much with my pain anyway.  I stuck to ibuprofen, which seemed to give me the most relief.  I took regular Tylenol for additional pain relief.

I was surprised by how limited I felt.  Even with the adjustable bed in the hospital room, getting up to get to the baby was so painful.  It seemed I had to move slowly and delicately no matter what I was doing to try to avoid a lot of pain.  Coughing and sneezing were the absolute worst.  If you ever wondered how much you use your abdominal muscles to do those things, you definitely find out after a C section.  Every time I had to cough or sneeze (or laugh hard, which I really didn't do very often those first couple of months), it brought tears to my eyes (for weeks afterward). My body was incredibly swollen, which I hadn't expected.  I had only mild edema during the pregnancy; it had been hardly noticeable.  During the first week after delivery, my legs were so swollen that they looked like tree trunks.  I couldn't squeeze my feet into my shoes.  Everything else swelled too, including my abdomen, my hands, my cheeks and eyelids.  It was bizarre (but apparently normal). I felt enormous.  I will say that my first shower (the next morning) was so nice.  I had a hearty appetite and ate well, even though the hospital food was less than great.  I was having sweats and chills, mostly at night.  Nursing staff told me it was just hormones.  The docs were more concerned about infection, since we had labored so long before going to surgery.  They kept us in the hospital 2 nights for that reason, though 2 nights is actually typical for post-C section.

A week after the delivery, once the swelling fully subsided, I was 20 pounds (which was probably just fluid, baby and associated things like the placenta) lighter than I had been at my last Ob appointment.

Breastfeeding was painful at first, and it remained painful for weeks.  I don't care what anyone says; this is NORMAL!  You're just not accustomed to having your nipples "used" in this way for hours a day, and it hurts at first.  Our little one had a great latch and was a good feeder.  It just took some getting used to, from my end of things.

Sleep...well, need I even mention sleep?  You don't do it when you have a new baby.  That's normal too.  We had sleep problems beyond what was typical down the road, which I may describe more in future posts.  But nobody sleeps very much those first 2 months at least.  So we were tired.  No big surprise there.

It took me at least 3 weeks to start to feel remotely better physically, but the pain persisted long after that. It was around 6 weeks that I started to feel able to do things like take little walk around the block with the stroller.  Heck, I still have pain around my incision sometimes, and it has been more than 5 months.

I hadn't anticipated all the different kinds of physical discomfort I would have, and I knew there would be "baby blues," but I really hadn't really anticipated feeling the way I did emotionally, which was made about 100 times worse by some family drama.  I'll talk about this more in my next post.

We made it through, but I'm not planning on reliving those first weeks with a new baby any time soon, and, I don't want to set myself up for disappointment, but I hope I never have to have a C section again.